Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Wedding in the Country

Wedding decoration
Weddings in Jianli, Hubei last two days.  The night before the wedding celebration begins, a stage and tent is constructed.  Then a large, red blow-up gate is placed in front and inflated the following morning.  

The first day begins early with loud music blaring from the speakers on the stage.  A troupe of country performers has been hired to sing all day and entertain in the evenings.

Cooking large quantities
Family and close friends spend all morning washing and chopping vegetables.  There’s no wedding cake or sparkling champagne on the menu.  Instead special food delicacies like turtle and chicken feet will be served and the commonplace vegetable dishes will all be replaced with expensive meat dishes.  And these same foods will be served for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next two days. 
Chicken feet


(I never did see anyone eat any turtle meat.  I’m not sure that it exists.  I guess the bones flavor the broth and tofu-noodles.  )

Fish
Turtle soup




Neighbors wander in and out all day and eat and sit and watch the singers.  Since my friend is the sister of the groom, we can get up on stage and sing karaoke whenever we want without having to pay. 

They didn’t have any English songs but, of course, Candy has “My Heart Will Go On” and the lyrics on her phone so we sing that.  I could load songs from my mp3 player and, though I didn’t have the lyrics, I was still able to muffle through “Bridge O’er Troubled Waters” by Simon and Garfunkel and “The Call” by Regina Spektor.  When you’re a foreigner, everything you do is a little strange anyway. 

Neighbors and family members
On the second day of the wedding the groom and his family go to get the bride.  I’m not sure what exactly they do.  I think they eat, visit, and get the bride ready.  Then they begin the wedding procession.  Both sides of the family pile into cars and vans and make their way to the groom’s house.  The first car is decorated with flowers and ribbons and the bride and groom ride in it.  When they’re about a mile away from the groom’s house, they are greeted by a wedding band, friends, and firecrackers.  


Fire crackers
In fact, this entire section of the road is lined with firecrackers and the groom’s friends race around in front of the car lighting them.  The whole point is to make a lot of noise.  Noise is equal to celebration in China and the louder, the happier.  At this wedding, the band at was just a snare drum and baritone but I’ve also seen a wedding caravan being followed by a small parade that even included a Chinese dragon. 
The arrival of the wedding caravan
Wedding band
When the bride and groom arrive at them home, the groom must carry the bride all the way up to their new room.  Everything in this room is new.  The parents and groom have been preparing it by purchasing a new bed, wardrobe, desk, mattress, sheets, curtains, night stand, quilts, garbage can…everything in it is NWT.  The bride brings nothing with her from her old home- not even shoes.  The living room was also new: new couch, AC/heating unit, TV, coffee table, even the light fixtures were new.  Weddings are expensive.
The bride and groom
Bargaining
Confetti showers the bride and groom as he pulls her out of the car and carries her to the door, which his friends have all barricaded with wooden benches.  Now begins the interesting part. 
Candy with the lucky money
The groom must give out red envelopes stuffed with ‘lucky money,’ to anyone who asks.  Most have ¥4 or ¥5 and some have as much as ¥20.  The grooms ‘friends’ do not let him pass until they have reached an agreement about how many of these envelopes he has to give out.  They bargained with him all the way up the stairs.  Apparently, the more they argue, the more memorable the wedding is. 

After that, is lunch.  The close family eats upstairs in the brand new living room and everyone else eats downstairs and outside.  Then the bride’s family leaves.  During dinner, the country singers give another performance with singing, dancing, skits, and a little bit of opera similar to Beijing opera.  It’s similar to the previous night but with different material.

The next morning, everyone packs up and picks up.  The stage and blow up disappears and it’s back to the fields and cotton.

Monday, October 21, 2013

October Holiday

Candy's neighbors
In the first week of October, I spent seven days living in the countryside.  A friend of mine invited me to her brother's wedding and I was thrilled at the chance to meet her family, watch a Chinese country wedding, and experience daily living in the country.

More neighbors
Every October in China, everyone gets a week off to celebrate the Chinese National Day. (Except that they don't really get a whole week off.  The holiday is only three days and then the other two days are made-up on other weekends.)  This year I went with my friend Candy to her hometown.


It’s funny to me that they call it a town.  It seemed much more like a very spread out neighborhood, though it is possible that I never even saw the actual town.  China is funny because in the countryside there are still neighborhoods.  It isn’t like the U.S. where living in the country means living miles away from your nearest neighbor.  In China you may live hours away from a real town but you still have a large village surrounding you. 

The main road
Candy’s family was very hospitable.  The moment I would enter a room they would say ‘sit!’ and hand me a glass of water.  But that’s also just a huge part of what you do in China.  In the U.S. I’m used to saying, “make yourself at home” and then showing someone where the glasses are but here they say “make yourself at home” and never let you pour your own drink.   In fact, if I even glanced at food or a drink, I would soon have some forcibly offered to me. 

The country life was interesting.  Candy’s mother did the laundry by hand every morning and rinses the clothes in a nearby lake.  (In the winter they use their aunt’s washing machine). Everyone knows their neighbor, even those that are far away.  They help each other out when they need it.  Farm equipment is sometimes cows, sometimes people, and sometimes machines.  When cotton is in season families sit around a table separating the fluffy cotton from the bolls or shells by hand. 
     

 The back yard is a garden and all the land in sight is growing something.  The first floor of the house is kept open all day.  It’s kind of a like a common room in an apartment or dormitory.  The walls are bare except for an ancestor shrine and a portrait clock.  Candy’s grandparents and parents both live on the first floor.  The kitchen is outside but has an attached wall.  Food is cooked on a wood stove.  Candy’s mother cooks while her grandmother feeds the fire, sometimes feeding it the cotton bolls or trash.  The ‘refrigerator’ is a shelf dangling from the ceiling.  It catches a breeze and the food is protected from flies by a cardboard tent, which is usually left open.  The screenless windows are also usually left open.  One room in the entire house has AC/heat.  The house is brick, the windows are thin, and there is no insulation, but this is just a way of life.    It seems that all the houses are like this.  You just wear a lot of clothes in the winter.

Chicken in cotton
The third floor of the house is for storage and on the second floor are three more bedrooms, a second bathroom, and a living room with TV and cable.  The bathroom does have hot water and a shower.   The rooms are large with big windows but don’t include anything built in.  My friend keeps her clothes in her two nightstands, her desk, and her parents’ wardrobe, but she also hasn’t lived at home since she went to stay at school when she was about thirteen.  This is pretty common.  
Floor plans for Mom- rough sketch - 1st floor
But before that her parents went to work in Shenzhen and she stayed with her aunt so she maybe hasn’t ever lived in this house because her family built it not that long ago.  The only people that live in the house are the grandparents.  But now that my friend’s brother and wife are expecting, they will also live there.




rough sketch - 2nd floor
 It’s funny because I would want heat and insulation but the things they want are better phones or scooters and a better life for their family, whatever a “better life” is.  Everyone works so hard but it’s usually for someone else.  The grandparents work in the garden and save money; the parents leave and move to the city to work and work in a factory so their kids can have an education, their parents can have a new house, and their grandkids can have good doctors and be spoiled rotten; and the kids work so they can travel but also for their parents, their children, and their grandparents.  There's no social security and when times get rough, you simply must rely on each other: on your family and close friends.  I think its different at the core but similar on the outside.  China has a deep culture, ninety-percent of which I don't understand.  :)




Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Countryside - Where?

Where is Jianli?  Good question.  Getting there was a bit of an adventure in itself.  I certainly could not have found it on my own, and, of course, I didn't have to.  My friend Candy joked that she was my 'guide' and she was.  :)
To arrive at Candy's house, you first ride the train to YueYang, which takes about 2.5 hours.  After that you take a city bus and then walk to where you catch the boat.  Once you board the boat, you wait until it's full enough, and then begin down the Yangtze River and get off at the last stop.  
We didn't ride in any of these boats but I enjoyed
watching them 'dock.'  One would pull into a space
and then ram into all the other boats to shove them over
and make space for another.  Those tires are very important.

Candy and her cousin.  We became friends and I taught her 'high-five!'
Inside the boat on the return trip.
These are Candy's classmates and neighbors.
They also go to school in Wuhan.


But this doesn't actually take you to Jianli.  This is somewhere near it; I'm not even sure that I was ever in a city called Jianli.  
After you get off the boat, get ready for a twenty minute scooter-cycle ride.  But be sure to pack light; I think three adults, a four year old and a small carry-on is close to max capacity.