October Holiday

Candy's neighbors

In the first week of October, I spent seven days living in the countryside.  A friend of mine invited me to her brother's wedding and I was thrilled at the chance to meet her family, watch a Chinese country wedding, and experience daily living in the country.

More neighbors

Every October in China, everyone gets a week off to celebrate the Chinese National Day. (Except that they don't really get a whole week off.  The holiday is only three days and then the other two days are made-up on other weekends.)  This year I went with my friend Candy to her hometown.

Details on that trek are found here (http://chatsfromchina.blogspot.com/2013/10/countryside-where.html)

It’s funny to me that they call it a town.  It seemed much more like a very spread out neighborhood, though it is possible that I never even saw the actual town.  China is funny because in the countryside there are still neighborhoods.  It isn’t like the U.S. where living in the country means living miles away from your nearest neighbor.  In China you may live hours away from a real town but you still have a large village surrounding you. 

The main road

Candy’s family was very hospitable.  The moment I would enter a room they would say ‘sit!’ and hand me a glass of water.  But that’s also just a huge part of what you do in China.  In the U.S. I’m used to saying, “make yourself at home” and then showing someone where the glasses are but here they say “make yourself at home” and never let you pour your own drink.   In fact, if I even glanced at food or a drink, I would soon have some forcibly offered to me. 

The country life was interesting.  Candy’s mother did the laundry by hand every morning and rinses the clothes in a nearby lake.  (In the winter they use their aunt’s washing machine). Everyone knows their neighbor, even those that are far away.  They help each other out when they need it.  Farm equipment is sometimes cows, sometimes people, and sometimes machines.  When cotton is in season families sit around a table separating the fluffy cotton from the bolls or shells by hand. 

     

 The back yard is a garden and all the land in sight is growing something.  The first floor of the house is kept open all day.  It’s kind of a like a common room in an apartment or dormitory.  The walls are bare except for an ancestor shrine and a portrait clock.  Candy’s grandparents and parents both live on the first floor.  The kitchen is outside but has an attached wall.  Food is cooked on a wood stove.  Candy’s mother cooks while her grandmother feeds the fire, sometimes feeding it the cotton bolls or trash.  The ‘refrigerator’ is a shelf dangling from the ceiling.  It catches a breeze and the food is protected from flies by a cardboard tent, which is usually left open.  The screenless windows are also usually left open.  One room in the entire house has AC/heat.  The house is brick, the windows are thin, and there is no insulation, but this is just a way of life.    It seems that all the houses are like this.  You just wear a lot of clothes in the winter.

Chicken in cotton

The third floor of the house is for storage and on the second floor are three more bedrooms, a second bathroom, and a living room with TV and cable.  The bathroom does have hot water and a shower.   The rooms are large with big windows but don’t include anything built in.  My friend keeps her clothes in her two nightstands, her desk, and her parents’ wardrobe, but she also hasn’t lived at home since she went to stay at school when she was about thirteen.  This is pretty common.  

Floor plans for Mom- rough sketch - 1st floor

But before that her parents went to work in Shenzhen and she stayed with her aunt so she maybe hasn’t ever lived in this house because her family built it not that long ago.  The only people that live in the house are the grandparents.  But now that my friend’s brother and wife are expecting, they will also live there.

rough sketch - 2nd floor

 It’s funny because I would want heat and insulation but the things they want are better phones or scooters and a better life for their family, whatever a “better life” is.  Everyone works so hard but it’s usually for someone else.  The grandparents work in the garden and save money; the parents leave and move to the city to work and work in a factory so their kids can have an education, their parents can have a new house, and their grandkids can have good doctors and be spoiled rotten; and the kids work so they can travel but also for their parents, their children, and their grandparents.  There's no social security and when times get rough, you simply must rely on each other: on your family and close friends.  I think its different at the core but similar on the outside.  China has a deep culture, ninety-percent of which I don't understand.  :)